Memorial Mass Arrangements and The Sunday Open House

Dear friends and family,

We can now confirm that the memorial mass for Janet will be at 11:00 am on Wednesday morning, July 23rd at Our Lady of the Visitation church in Darnestown, MD. It is located just off route 28. It is about 2 miles or so further on the Darnestown Road route 28 past Jones Lane where one would turn off route 28 to get to our residence. Actually, one turns left off route 28 onto Seneca Road near a Shell gas station, and the driveway for the church is 200 yards down on the right.

We are having the Mass on Wednesday in order to give Janet's sister Cynthia the chance to come from California. Cindy cannot come earlier.

The directions to the church address may be found at the web site below. Cut and paste this to something that you can save, or write it down.

http://www.olvp.org/

There will be a reception at the parish hall after the ceremony.

Janet was cremated today. Other members of her family have been cremated in the past few years and I chose this simple option. Some diosces in the Roman Catholic church are permitting this. Janet's family is scattered around the country, and a formal cemetery plot would be remote for nearly all of them.

The open house today was a wonderful experience for all of us. I benefitted a great deal by meeting many of you and being able to talk face to face. About 30 people came. This blog has been a good tool at times, but there is no substitute for a face to face chat with a good sob and hug. There was a lot of that today. The open house was in essence a wake without the body. In reality, we all know that Janet is gone and in heaven, and in a curious sense, I feel that her corpse would have been a distraction. I remember from my youth all the times we knelt at an open coffin for a last view and observed that the undertaker did or did not do a good job. Often the individal did not look as one remembered the person. That being said, as part of the formal identification process, I did have one last glimpse at my poor Janet today. Words canot describe how lovely she looked to me. She was more relaxed looking than at the moment she passed, and her lovely eyes were closed in a perfect sleep. Rest forever my darling....

The outpouring of sympathy and shared experiences was a great consolation for me and Janet's family. We knew Janet was special, but it was incredible how many people were touched by her joy, kindness, and encouragement. Many of you, and particularly the dancers, expressed how she had changed your lives. I heard this over and over again. Letters were given to me that articulated this in writing. They were remarkable to read and moved me deeply.

I must reflect on this. Some of them were so beautifuly written that I am tempeted to share portions of them with you on this blog, perhaps with the entries anonymous.

For those of you who struggled to get onto this blog to make an entry, let me say that you are not alone. I heard over and over again today how many of you could not figure out how to get on. I will dig out the old instructions GW gave us and post them again.

I was pleased to hear that this blog has been so effective. Many of you told me that it was right on. In addition to telling the sad story as quickly as it unfolded, it was also an opportunity to encourage each other and share the experience. I said before that I found it theraputic. It was an opportunity for me to share the day's events and share a bit of the burden. Sharing the burden made it easier to bear the ordeal. Neverthelss, Janet's mother kept telling me to shorten it, since she felt I was getting too little sleep, but think I did OK.

This story and this blog is not over. I was encouraged to keep it going for a while longer. I shall, but maybe not with daily entries. I must relax and decompress somewhat now that the crisis is past. I have seen some sites on the web that are shines to loved ones. That is not where I intend to go with the blog.

I may post excerpts of some of what you have sent me or we may add a few follow up entries to help us with the healing process.

Please let me know what you think and do not hesitate to add entries, if we can figure out how!

I will add one other intentionally cryptic entry and I will finish for this night. Today one of you dancer/professionals gave me some valuable technical advice on a matter pertaining to a possible cause of Janet's sudden illness, and I intend to follow this up immediately.

george sr.