Farewell

Dear friends and family,

This will be my final entry for the foreseeable future. I post a few pictures of Janet here as I add a few last thoughts. This one is of us at an awards ceremony a few years ago.

It has been a week since Janet’s death. Over the last few days I have been receiving remarkable messages from people who knew Janet. Janet had a wonderful personality and she immediately endeared herself to everyone who met her. The outpouring of grief has been amazing. Many people were stunned and deeply affected by Janet’s sudden passing. I have been reduced to tears many times as I have read your messages, emails, and letters. I wanted to get some of these up onto this blog site, but there are too many. I thank all of you who sent them and the messages mean a lot to me. I will try to respond privately to as many as I can over the next weeks and months.

Please feel free to contact me by letter, email, or telephone in the coming weeks and months. If you think of an anecdote about Janet that you’d like to share, let me know. I can also pass it along to GW and Aleta.

Did you know that Janet was studying to beocme a fitness instructor? She worked out regularly with GW at Gold's gym and with gerson at the NIST gym. She was studying how to teach fitness and how to get certified.

Also, I mentioned that she had a new artistic endeavor: making decorated flash computer drives (aka thumbnail drives). These could be worn as pendants. She alos made matching beaded chains. If you would like to get one of these as a momento, contact our son G.W. at george.w.quinn@nist.gov
Or contact me, and I can pass the message along. G.W. has several dozen of these that Janet was going to sell and he may get more made.

Sometime in the fall, the Kismet dancers (Janet's troupe) may organize a special show or benefit in Janet's memory.

The next photo shows the urn that contains Janet's cremated ashes. It is a beautiful hand made ceramic piece from a local artisan. It is fitting that a ceramist should be in a ceramic urn.

I finish by quoting a message that Dr. V. Sundar, one of Janet’s dental friends, sent to me on June 19. He said:

“There’s an old saying by the poet saint Kabir from India….
“‘When I was born, the world laughed, and I cried. May I live a life so that when I go, I would laugh, and the world cries.’”
I think Janet’s that kind of lady.”

God bless you all and thank you so very much for supporting Janet, GW, Aleta and me through this ordeal. In the beginning of this blog, I said that Janet drew strength knowing that so many of you were supporting her and were monitoring the blog daily. That was true right up to the end.

Goodbye Janet. You were so beautiful and we will love you forever.

george quinn, sr.

Sifting through memories

Dear friends,

Cindy and I sorted through more of Janet's dance belongings today.
The pictures show Janet's sewing room on the second floor of our house. I shot some photos to record its state at the very end. The sorting was slow as we pondered or remembered every trinket, special tape, or cherished veil. We even found more sets of zills tucked away here and there. I found several dental bridge sets and various projects Janet had done through the years. We found some magnificent artwork that she did in the mid to late 1970's as she dabbled with an art career.

George Walter and his girl friend Alanna came over and took the mighty Viking sewing machine that Janet used to make so many skirts and costumes. I bought it as a birthday gift for Janet years ago. Imagine my anxiety going into a sewing machine shop and trying to figure out what machine would be best! I chose well.

We found one of Janet's last projects: the decorated jump drive or decorated flash drive memory sticks that could be hung on a necklace chain like a pendant. Imagine that. You can wear a jump drive like a piece of jewelry. My son is going to pursue making these as a possible business activity.

On the door to her room, Janet had one of those little signs that you find to let people know whether someone is in or not. At midnight on Friday, Cindy and I found the sign as you see below.


So Janet, we love and miss you and may you dance forever...........

George and Cindy

Healing blog

I had never blogged before this one began but as soon as it did, I logged on and have every day and sometimes many times per day, since.   I have been buoyed and saddened as the weeks have gone by.  Lifted by comments and prayers left by George and family and friends of Janet and by Janet herself and very much saddened by the turn of events.   If it takes a village to care for someone and then later to grieve for someone, this blog is a village.   Thank you George and everyone else for writing, posting photos and keeping the spirit of Janet alive even now.  The photos are just beautiful and George's comments are a continued link to someone we have all loved.  

~Tamara

A Day to Unwind

Hello friends of our beloved Janet,

The pleasant smells of the many flowers that we received over the last few days waft through our house.

Last night and today were days of hugs and best wishes as family members bid farewell. My brother Jim left on late Thursday. Janet's sister Cindy and Aleta sorted through Janet's years of tapes, costumes, videos, CD's, canes, swords, veils, zills, and so forth. I looked for the original zills that I gave to Janet over 30 years ago that set her on her dance journey. I think that I found them, but I only found two. Cindy and Aleta assured me that such is the way of zills. They may start out as a set of 4, but often wind up as 3 or less! Aleta will take many items as will Cindy, but the Kismet dancers may be in for some treats.

I visited the church on Thursday and told Father Matthew that he had done a fine job with his sermon and there were many positive comments. Some even wanted copies of his sermon, but he does not write or record them. So trust your memories as to what he said about Janet's wisdom and science and her dancng and her love of fellow people.

I had a moment today when I yearned to hear Janet's voice. She had a very pleasant voice. I called her office telephone at NIST and listened to her recorded message.

Tonight I scanned through this blog to "hear" her voice through her written messages. You can "hear" her in the entries of
June 30th, "I'm Back"
July 1, "My first cancer drug starts today"
July 2nd "Better and Better"
and July 9, "Ups and Downs"

So brave and optimistic..................

good night
george sr.

A Memorial Day

Hello friends and family of Janet.
This is George, Sr. again on Wednesday evening.
The picture shows Janet in happier times in front of her stereomicroscope at the ADA Research lab.

Today we honored Janet's memory. Family and friends converged on Our Lady of the Visitation Parish in Darnestown, MD at 11:00 am. There were about 100 of you in the pews and you came from far and wide. I saw many friends that I had not seen in years. I even saw Dr. Pamela Zarick, who first detected that something was seriously wrong with Janet on June 1st and who monitored developments in Janet's sad case to the end.

Yes, the pianist played Ravel's Pavan for a Dead Princess as the prelude. I will forever associate that tune with Janet. Even now as I write this, its haunting strains echo in my mind.

Father Matthew Punchayil suggested that I choose bible passages that were relevant to Janet's life and career. For the first reading from the old testament, I chose and Aleta read a passage about Wisdom from the book of Sirach, chapter 14, verses 20-27:

The Search for Wisdom and Its Blessings
"Happy the man who meditates on wisdom, and reflects on knowldge,
Who ponders her ways in his heart, and understands her paths;
Who pursues her like a scout, and lies in wait at her entry way;
Who peeps through her windows, and listens at her doors;
Who encamps near her house, and fastens his tent pegs next to her walls;
Who pitches his tent beside her, and lives as her welcome neighbor;
Who builds his nest in her leafage, and lodges in her branches;
Who takes shelter with her from the heat,and dwells in her home."

We continued with this theme in the second reading, read by George Walter, from James, Chapter 3, versus 13-18:
True Wisdom
"Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show his works by a good life in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. Wisdom of this kind does not come down from above but is earthy, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exists, there is disorder and every foul practice. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure the peaceable gentile, compliant, full of mercy and good fruits, without inconstancy or insincerity. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace for those who cultivate peace."

The Gospel was from Matthew 5:1-12a
which was the section of the Beatitudes from the Sermon on The Mount.

Father Matthew Punchayil delivered a splendid sermon about Janet and the themes raised above. He did not know Janet, but on the basis of what I had told him, he came to realize what a wonderful person she was as wife, mother, scientist and artist – dancer. He spoke about wisdom from God and its connection to Janet’s engineering and scientific work. He noted that many in the church were Janet’s scientist friends and colleagues. He then commented on Janet’s artistic – Middle Eastern dance career, and the many attendees who came to bid farewell to Janet from that side. He said that there is a Lord of Dance in the Hindu religion.
He said that it was apparent that Janet had touched the lives of many people with her kindness and generosity. Although she lived what may seemed to have been a short time span of 58 years, she had lived life to the fullest and had accomplished a full lifespan of generous acts and good deeds and had done the Lord’s work. Many of the attendees, Roman Catholic or otherwise, were moved by his sermon. We were grateful that he had captured the essence of Janet’s contributions throughout her life. My family was deeply touched. I had requests for copies of the sermon. I will inquire, but I believe he delivered the sermon from memory alone.

At the conclusion of the Mass, I presented a short eulogy:
“I first saw Janet in 1969.
We were both mechanical engineering students at Northeastern University in Boston. She was so beautiful when I saw her in the big lecture halls, but I was too shy to say hello. Later, she came to work as a coop student where I worked,
so I did not miss this chance. How lucky I was to win the hand of such a wonderful person. I told her that she was the sunshine in my life.
I think that she brought sunshine into the hearts of many of you.

We were married in 1973 and graduated together as engineers.
For the next 35 years I was reserved and she was convivial. Her joy, inner and outer beauty captivated everyone that she met. She was a delightful and happy person who helped many others rise above their problems and think positively, especially those in her dance network.

She also was a strong, brave woman who looked forward and not back.
So over the last 7 weeks, during her great ordeal, I asked her how she could bear it. She said:
“I have lived a good life, I have few regrets, I did the things that I wanted to do, and I have many dear friends.”

So, we shall miss her dearly. She set a fine example that I hope will instill all of us to live better lives.
God bless you all."

I was remiss to not mention one aspect of her life: She was a Mensan.
Yes, she was one smart gal, but true to her character, she was very circumspect about mentioning this.

We had a fine reception in the church basement and I tried to greet every one of you. We had dozens of photos of Janet at various phases in her life from her college years when we first met, to our wedding, to the births of GW and Aleta, to college graduations including Janet's own PhD in 2000, as well as photos from her work at Watertown Arsenal and ADA-Paffenbarger Research Center. We also had a big selection from her dance activities and I even brought in one of her hand crafted costumes. Yes, she made most of her own costumes, bead by bead, jewel by jewel, sequin by sequin, strand by strand. It was amazing work and she loved doing it. The costumes were so beautiful and so well made. Nevertheless, she occasionally had fun buying some Eyptian ones too.
Many of you returned to work or your normal lives, and my famly drifted back to our residence. I was left with the task of bundling all the flowers into my convertable green Ford mustang. I had to lower the convertable roof to get them all in. I'm sorry to say that I did not take a picture. It must have been quite a sight: My driving with the top down in a funeral suit with flowers jutting out of the back and petals streaming away in every direction.

But before I departed the church, I had but one last task to perform. I had to fetch Janet's ashes. In all the hub bub of the day, I suspect that very few people took any pictures. At the last moment, I asked a departing friend of Janet's to shoot one solitary picture of me as I left the church with Janet urn.
Her spirit is in heaven, but I have her ashes. I will cherish her forever.

ADDENDA:
The church booklet did have a mistake on the cover. Janet was listed as having been born on 23 July 1950. It was actually 23 June 1950. Sadly, she did celebrate her 58th birthday inside Holy Cross hospital and pictures from that occasion are in the blog below.

Bye Janet! I miss you.

Hi all,

I would like to contribute some efforts to this blog. I have been very sad since her departure Saturday. I miss her kindness and smiles, she was a very nice person and she made you feel very warm while talking to her.

I had a chance to photograph her dancing two years in San Francisco. I would like to share these pictures with all of you. You can download them by clicking the pictures.

My prayers are with Janet and her family.


Sam Liao

ps. -Thank you George for your nice words, I am really appreciated.
-I am so sorry that I couldn't make it to Maryland Wednesday.
-Happy Birthday! Aleta

The End is Near

Well my friends,

it is 11:40 pm the eve of Janet's funeral. The hustle and bustle of the day has subdued to a serene stillness as many of Janet's family who have come from far and wide have rested their heads on beds, couches and sleeping bags. I am the last one awake, much like many of the nights over the last 2 months.

How so many times in these evenings I worried about the day's events or the prospects for the next day. Tonight, I have only one last task to do. I will write a short eulogy. In one sense it will be easy since my heart is full of things to say. It will be hard since I am not eloquent. Maybe I should simply paraphrase many of the wonderful things that you have told me or written to me the last few days. I hope that I can get past the first line.

They have agreed to play Ravel's Pavan for a Dead Princess. A musician will play it as the prelude while we are seating. Please let me and Janet's mother bask alone in its soothing harmonies as we sit at the front. My friends and family will usher you to your pews.

I hope that many of you saw the Washington Post death notice on Tuesday. We had Sam Liao's color photo in it.

Aleta and I will prepare a longer obituary story for later this or next week.

And a belated Happy Birthday to Aleta on Monday the 21st, her 25th birthday. She reminds many of us of her mother.

God bless you all. your devoted friend george sr.

a smiling janet with some of her students at rakasa. i just found this picture and wanted to share it with everyone. we will all miss her very much but we all appreciate everything she has done for us and all the amazing moves she has taught us! she will live on through each and every belly dance move she has taught us all.

Brad and I would like to extend our deepest sympathies to Janet's family and friends and our personal gratitude to Janet for touching our lives as she touched so many here! She was truly a special person. My personal experience with Janet is that she was always supportive & encouraging of my dance journey from the first time that I met her. I remember not too long ago seeing her with a friend having dinner at Memsahib on a night I was dancing there. It was a particularly slow night, and it felt so good to see her friendly face in the audience! She was always supportive of musicians and an advocate of dancing with live music as well! I loved her performance at the last Tiraz convention and am so glad I was there to see it. Thank you thank you Janet for all of your kindness and for shining your light on us all!

We will miss you dearly!

Dear George
All your friends and professional colleagues from ASTM C28 extend their sincere condolences and deep sorrow on Janet's sudden and tragic passing.

Many of us knew her and remember her with great fondness for her kind and generous nature and with professional respect for her scientific achievements.

Our prayers are with you and your family in this time of sorrow and loss.

Steve Gonczy
C28 Chair

Dear George, GW, and Aleta: I was one of those many fortunate people who's life was touched by Janet Aliya's kindness. When I first started taking dance lessons I told her that I was feeling uncomfortable coming to the dance classes because I was a real beginner and I did not feel good dancing in front of other people, and without hesitation she immediately offered to come earlier to the class to teach me the basic steps. She called the group "beautiful dancers" but it was her inner beauty that made us feel so good and relaxed during her free dance lesson. She was always smiling and encouraging us. Your loving Janet-Aliya will be long remembered by many. Her beutiful smile, her graceful movements, and her thoughfulness will live for ever in our hearts. Your faith and courage, and her eternal love will bring you peace even in the midst of this great sorrow. With all my sympathy, Myriam S. Dilawari (NIST).

Thinking of you in these difficult times!

May the peace which comes from the memories of love shared
comfort you now and in the days ahead.
With deepest sympathy to the family and friends.

Yucy El-Banan

Preparations for Wednesday

Dear friends again,

Yes, plans are being refined for the memorial mass for Janet. I have never organized a funeral, but the professionals at Devol Funeral Home are giving me advice and the people at Our Lady of the Visitation Parish are helping guide me too.

Today I was asked for some guidance on the readings from the bible. I was a bit at a loss to decide, but something relating to Janet's scientific or dance career seems appropriate. For the former, I consulted with Father Andrew Buechele at Catholic University. He is an interesting fellow, a member of the Piarist order. This is a very small order of Catholic Priests that specialize in works of charity and scientific work around the world. Yes, Fr. Buechele is a scientist and he does a lot of his work with electron microscopes in a research laboratory. He works on studying vitreous materials and their ability to encapsulate radioactive waste products. It is a fascinating endeavor and aims to help the environment. It is an interesting way to do the Lord's work. In 2000 when she graduated from the University of Maryland, Janet interviewed for a job at that laboratory. She was offered a job, but she opted for the dental job instead. Fr. Buechele remembered there was a good passage from the Book of Wisdom, so I have some homework to find it.

We are beginning to hear from many friends and family who intend to come from far and wide on Wednesday. I originally estimated 40 or 50, but it may be double that.

I know that many of you would love to have a Turkish 9/8ths playing as a prelude to the Mass, but the church is very particular about music selections. We will have some traditional church music during the Mass.

Nevertheless, I am a sentimentalist. I have asked that Maurice Ravel's "Pavan for a Dead Princess" be played (by CD) as a prelude to the Mass. It is a lovely and emotional piece of classical orchestral music. My eyes become moist whenever I hear it. I hope that they agree to play it. I always wondered why no one plays it at a funeral. Maybe they do, but I have never been there. So here is our chance. As we file into the pews, if you see me weeping, you shall know why. It is for Janet and it is for the Pavan.

george sr.

Favorite Charities for Donations in Janet's Memory

Dear friends,

It is without any hesitation that I recommend that donations in honor of Janet's memory should be made to the American Cancer Society.

or alternatively to

The Casey House of Montgomery County Hospice.
That is where Janet spent her final night.
As I understand it, it is a private nonprofit organization.

I do not know whether there is any advantage or benefit from donating in Janet's name. Perhaps one of you can help us understand.

Roxanne Moosher of Zeiss and and Gretchen Duppins of ADA asked me for specific charities and after a few hours reflection, the decisions were easy.

george sr.

George to Rocky

Rocky,
It was great to hear from you when you were in Egypt. I told Janet about it. I sensed that she wished more than anything else at that moment that she could have been with you on the tour along with Aleta. The earlier tours were some of the happiest times of Janet's life. Thanks you so much for these memories.

george sr.

MY HEART IS ALWAYS WITH YOU

I wish I could've been there with you in person, but that was impossible. My heart & prayers were & always will be with you. Janet rightly deserves all the love that poured out for her and there is more than enough of that love from us to encompass you all.

I am only an e-mail away if there is anything I can do. Dance on - it is a way to remember & honor Janet and share our love for it and each other with the world.

You always have a friend in NYC or wherever else I may be,
Morocco

P.S. I really hope you'll share the technical advice/ information you get re Janet's illness that you mentioned below - in case, God forbid, this happens again, maybe it will help.

So wonderful to be in your home today, George and share stories and hugs and tears and even some hearty laughs. Wonderful too, to see Aleta and share a hug. Many beautiful dancers came as well and it felt good to have one another's company where many of us learned to dance. Karen and I went downstairs to the studio where everything was neat and tidy as always with veils hanging on hooks ready to be swirled. I had never seen Janet's workroom before where she made her costumes (and must have sewn my veil - unbidden). There was a richly textured fabric with embroidery circles within which beads were carefully sewn in a pattern. Beside this was a bra top which appeared to be finished in the same fabric and beads. In the closet were costumes of every color. It seemed as though she had just wandered off to teach a class or go to NIST. Thank you again George for being the Keeper of the Blog for Janet. It has meant so much to me to be included and to feel a part of her life and yours even at this tragic time.

In sympathy and gratitude,

~Tamara

Memorial Mass Arrangements and The Sunday Open House

Dear friends and family,

We can now confirm that the memorial mass for Janet will be at 11:00 am on Wednesday morning, July 23rd at Our Lady of the Visitation church in Darnestown, MD. It is located just off route 28. It is about 2 miles or so further on the Darnestown Road route 28 past Jones Lane where one would turn off route 28 to get to our residence. Actually, one turns left off route 28 onto Seneca Road near a Shell gas station, and the driveway for the church is 200 yards down on the right.

We are having the Mass on Wednesday in order to give Janet's sister Cynthia the chance to come from California. Cindy cannot come earlier.

The directions to the church address may be found at the web site below. Cut and paste this to something that you can save, or write it down.

http://www.olvp.org/

There will be a reception at the parish hall after the ceremony.

Janet was cremated today. Other members of her family have been cremated in the past few years and I chose this simple option. Some diosces in the Roman Catholic church are permitting this. Janet's family is scattered around the country, and a formal cemetery plot would be remote for nearly all of them.

The open house today was a wonderful experience for all of us. I benefitted a great deal by meeting many of you and being able to talk face to face. About 30 people came. This blog has been a good tool at times, but there is no substitute for a face to face chat with a good sob and hug. There was a lot of that today. The open house was in essence a wake without the body. In reality, we all know that Janet is gone and in heaven, and in a curious sense, I feel that her corpse would have been a distraction. I remember from my youth all the times we knelt at an open coffin for a last view and observed that the undertaker did or did not do a good job. Often the individal did not look as one remembered the person. That being said, as part of the formal identification process, I did have one last glimpse at my poor Janet today. Words canot describe how lovely she looked to me. She was more relaxed looking than at the moment she passed, and her lovely eyes were closed in a perfect sleep. Rest forever my darling....

The outpouring of sympathy and shared experiences was a great consolation for me and Janet's family. We knew Janet was special, but it was incredible how many people were touched by her joy, kindness, and encouragement. Many of you, and particularly the dancers, expressed how she had changed your lives. I heard this over and over again. Letters were given to me that articulated this in writing. They were remarkable to read and moved me deeply.

I must reflect on this. Some of them were so beautifuly written that I am tempeted to share portions of them with you on this blog, perhaps with the entries anonymous.

For those of you who struggled to get onto this blog to make an entry, let me say that you are not alone. I heard over and over again today how many of you could not figure out how to get on. I will dig out the old instructions GW gave us and post them again.

I was pleased to hear that this blog has been so effective. Many of you told me that it was right on. In addition to telling the sad story as quickly as it unfolded, it was also an opportunity to encourage each other and share the experience. I said before that I found it theraputic. It was an opportunity for me to share the day's events and share a bit of the burden. Sharing the burden made it easier to bear the ordeal. Neverthelss, Janet's mother kept telling me to shorten it, since she felt I was getting too little sleep, but think I did OK.

This story and this blog is not over. I was encouraged to keep it going for a while longer. I shall, but maybe not with daily entries. I must relax and decompress somewhat now that the crisis is past. I have seen some sites on the web that are shines to loved ones. That is not where I intend to go with the blog.

I may post excerpts of some of what you have sent me or we may add a few follow up entries to help us with the healing process.

Please let me know what you think and do not hesitate to add entries, if we can figure out how!

I will add one other intentionally cryptic entry and I will finish for this night. Today one of you dancer/professionals gave me some valuable technical advice on a matter pertaining to a possible cause of Janet's sudden illness, and I intend to follow this up immediately.

george sr.

A Time for Reflection and Coffee Open House on Sunday

Dear friends,

This is George again on early Saturday evening.

Thank you so much for the outpouring of sympathy and support. It is amazing how many of you loved Janet. Messages have been coming in from around the world.

The Quinn family is starting to decompress. It has been a stressful and frenzied time as we worked furiously to help Janet through these difficult stages. I am at peace, but feel a tremendous hole in my soul. Life without Janet will never be the same. I shall cherish her memory and dream of her often.

Over the last few weeks, I have regretted having had to hold so many friends away from Janet to allow her time to rest and gather her energy. I am so sorry that many of you had no chance to see her one last time. I knew that she would have been bouyed by your visits.

Plans are underway for a funeral mass, probably at 11:00 am Wednesday as well as a reception (at the church hall?) afterwards. The funeral Mass will be at Our Lady of the Visitation Catholic church in Darnestown, Maryland. Please check this blog site again for confirmation. So come one and come all to our farewell to Janet on Wednesday.

We will not have a formal Irish (or Polish!) wake and we are proceeding with our plans for cremation.

In the meantime, we will have a simple coffee - open house at the Quinn residence on Sunday afternon (tomorrow July 20) from 1 pm to 7 pm. Please feel free to drop by, share some memories, have a look at Janet's basement dance studio, bring some photos, and help us heal.

12721 War Admiral Way
North Potomac (near Darnestown) Maryland

It is at the intersection of Jones Lane and War Admiral Way, off route 28.

tel: 301 977 3691

george sr.

ADDENDA 1: Janet first checked into the Kaiser urgent care clinic on June 1st. It was 7 weeks to the day to her passing. So brief, so sad.

ADDENDA 2: I wish to specially thank Sam Laio for the picture below. He sent it to the blog on June 13th. It so perfectly captures Janet's personnality and joy that I will cherish it forever. Thank you so much Sam for sending it to us. Good luck with your photography career.

Janet is gone

My dear friends,

We just received word that a beautiful person, Dr. Janet B. Quinn, also known as Aliya, passed away at about 4:00 am on Saturday morning in the hospice.

My brother James Quinn and Janet's dear dance friend Colleen Hood were with her through the evening and were with her at the final moment.

May she rest in peace.

george d. quinn



ADDENDA 1: at 7:05 am:
We will arrange for Janet to be cremated and a funeral Mass to be held next week, probably on Wednesday at Our Lady of the Visitation Parish in Darnestown, MD. It is just off route 28. I am trying to contact the parish priest now.

ADDENDA 2: My brother, who is a professional fireman from Boston, told me that she was breathing regularly throughout the night with small gasps. The breathing rate seemed fine and was not of too much concern to us or the hospice nurse, but we knew that anything could happen. On Friday one physician told me that she could last for as much as 3 months, another said she may have days. When I left her at 10 pm, we were told that she probably would make it through the night, but Joan Chouili was less sure and prepared me for the possibility Janet would not make it. Joan, as she so many times through this whole sad affair, was right.
The final moment occurred when she did not take an extra breath, but just stopped breathing. It was a peaceful stress free moment. She was in no pain and was asleep. GW, Aleta and I are at peace knowing that Janet did not suffer at the end.



God bless you all.

george sr.

Another eventful day

Dera friends,

I must be brief. It has been another very long day with a lot of drama and stress. Janet slept through most of the day. There were no tests, no radiation treatments, no surgeries. She is now on morphine at a level sufficient to manage the pain. It had subdued her and she slept the whole day except for brief intervals in the morning and late afternoon.
We were happy to see her sleep so soundly, but worried about her losing contact with us. She also was getting a seditive at increasing dosages to control anxiety and make her breathing easier.
Fast actions and important decisons were made today, and we were able to get her accepted by the Montgomery County Hospice care program. It is a private not for profit group. She was tarnsefred by ambulance this evening at 6:30 pm to the Casey hospice house in Montgomery county. They only have 10 beds. It is small and nice and very well staffed. I have heard good things about their program. It is hoped that she can be restored to some level of capability and sent home for home hospice care, but this is optimistic.
So she is resting quietly and is surrounded by close family and a few key medical friends.
Please do not call or visit the Casey House. Janet has the help she needs and we shall continue to pray for her.
george sr.

A Prayer for a Woman of Valor

A woman of valor, who can find? Far beyond pearls is her value.
Her husband's heart trusts in her and he shall lack no fortune.
She repays his good, but never his harm, all the days of her life.
She seeks out wool and linen, and her hands work willingly,
She is like a merchant's ships; from afar she brings her sustenance.
She rises while it is still nighttime, and gives food to her household and a ration to her maids.
She considers a field and buys it; from the fruit of her handiwork she plants a vineyard.
She girds her loins with might and strengthens her arms.
She senses that her enterprise is good, so her lamp is not extinguished at night.
She puts her hand to the distaff, and her palms support the spindle.
She spreads out her palm to the poor and extends her hands to the destitute.
She fears not snow for her household, for her entire household is clothed with scarlet wool.
Bedspreads she makes herself; linen and purple wool are her clothing.
Well-known at the gates is her husband as he sits with the elders of the land.
Garments she makes and sells, and she delivers a belt to the peddler.
Strength and splendor are her clothing, and smilingly she awaits her last day.
She opens her mouth with Wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She anticipates the needs of her household, and the bread of idleness, she does not eat.
Her children rise and celebrate her; and her husband, he praises her:
"Many daughters have attained valor, but you have surpassed them all."
False is grace, and vain is beauty; a God-fearing woman, she should be praised.
Give her the fruit of her hands, and she will be praised at the gates by her very own deeds.

Proverbs 31:10-31

A Decision was made

Dear friends and family,

Events are unfolding very fast. Early on Thursday morning, Janet decided that her prospects for a meaningful recovery and fair to good quality of life while withstanding the rigors of aggressive chemotherapy were poor. She opted to accept a palliative treatment with home hospice. Aleta, George Walter, and I tearfully agreed with her.
She told me this morning at 9:30 am and she was at peace that she had made the decision. I had anticipated it and told her last night that we would support whatever she wished to do. I did not get specific, but she understood. Physicians and counselors had informed us of the options.
She was strong and brave this morning as she told me of her choice. I broke down. She is stronger than me. With her this morning were Joan Chouili, Carol Handwerker and Robin Blendell. Joan and Robin are nurses. They calmed her after she made the decision and told her what to expect. She no longer has the uncertainty and fear of the unknown.
Janet knows that fate has dealt her a terrible hand. She put up a valiant fight but we cannot allow her to endure additional misery in the interest of simply prolonging life at a poor quality.
So tonight I am working to decide on which of two hospice care centers to utilize. I have been told they are both excellent and Janet will be in good hands. We hope she will make it to this point, but nothing is certain.
Janet regressed and was in considerable pain in the late afternoon and early evening, but now that palliative care and hospice treatment has been elected, the medications will be ramped up and adjusted to whatever level is needed to make her comfortable.
The immediate family is collecting. My brother James is here now from Boston and Janet's brother is driving down tomorrow from Hartford with Janet's mother. Cindy will be coming in from California early next week.
Please do not rush to the hospital on Friday. She needs peace and rest and she has good company. Tonight (Thursday-Friday), Aleta and Carol are staying with Janet. She will have family or a special friend with her at all times. Colleen Hood and Carol Handwerker are helping me with arrangements.
Janet will receive the sacramet of the Annointing of the Sick at noon on Friday.
We hope that she will regain enough strength to be able to come home over the weekend or early next week for professional home care hospice aid. I will take time off from work on an extended basis and have some hospice professional help at home.

So we all are saddened by this turn of events, but Janet is at peace with her decision. God bless you all and it is not too late for prayer and peaceful thoughts.

george sr.

HOPE

I will continue to pray that God will give you the serenity and the strength to persevere. Let me know what I can do to help. God bless. Love, Marta

Another Sad Day

Hello friends and family,

How so very much I wish that I could pass some good news...........
It was a long stressful day for many of us, and I shall simply pass on the primary news. I did spend the Tuesday/Wednesday night with her and tried to comfort her.

Janet remained in intensive care for the day on Wednesday. There were no new treatments, no new tests, no procedures. It was a day of rest and review and waiting while we hoped for movement to be restored to her legs. There were a number of meetings with doctors, nurses and specialists. There is too much to recount.

On Wednesday evening, I asked Janet what we should say for the day. As she lay quietly in her bed this evening surrounded by Aleta, Robin Blendell, Carol Handwerker, and myself, Janet said:
"Today I was very depressed. My legs have lost all their feeling. We are working on a plan of recovery and I have not lost hope."

Yes, we have not given up hope, but the prospects for a recovery from this latest setback are not good.
Friends and family have responded. GW will be with her in the evening hours on Wednesday. Joan Chouili will spend the late evening and early Thursady morning hours with Janet. My brotehr is coming down form Boston tomorrow. We want for a family or friend to be with her to lend her comfort and support. Some of you have kindly offered to help, and yes, I think we shall call upon your help. Aleta, Carol, or I may be in contact with you, but please be patient. Events and circumstances are changing daily.

I wish that I could say that our prayers and thoughts have been answered. Please do not give up. Janet hasn't.

george sr.

Dear George and Janet,

I have sent you
( George) an email to work, not sure if you will see it. Do you need help with sitting with Janet in the evening or is there anything else I can help with? Please let me know.

Grace Roberts

Dear George

Please let me know how I can help.

Linda

Praying as Hard as I Can

My Darling Quinns,

I said a prayer for Janet every day we were in Cairo & Istanbul, at all the places she'd been & continuing now from New York. I am envisioning her dancing again at the next Turkish camp in PA.

Much love always,
Morocco

Tuesday night entry

Dear friends,

Janet rested in surgical intensive care all day Tuesday. She was monitored closely and was visited by many specialists. Everyone is hoping that she will get some movement back in her legs, but it is not happening. It is not hopeless, but it is grim. The doctors will give her a couple more days before we move in another direction.
Our son GW remained with Janet all through the night. I came in for 5 hours in the morning to early afternoon. This was important since the doctors made their rounds during this interval. We had a terrible scare when her Tarceva anti cancer pills went missing in all the turmoil from moving her from an oncology ward to surgery and then to intensive care on Sunday and Monday. She missed one day's dose. I was able to track them down and get thekm into the right hands. It was frightening to janet and me, since this medicine is not commonly available and is the sole thing attacking the cancer at the moment since we cannot do the chemo or resume the radiation. Each day is like this: some crisis or critical decision making, or bureaucratic problem or medical setback. There is no rest.
Aleta came in and covered from 2 pm until early evening. Joan Chouili came in mid evening, but was concerned about Janet's status. Janet is not in imminent threat of death, but she is vulnerable and possibly suffering at times if the nurses do not pay attention. During the day, the care was superb and professional, but at night it may be a different situation. At this moment, Aleta is rushing back to the hospital to check. If need be, she will summon me for an all night vigil. If problems like these continue, our small family may need some help. Janet's mother had to return to Hartford since her medications were running out.

I must now order some new Tarceva before I forget tonight. The hospital may overlook it or there may be another snafu.

So the doctors are not optimistic, but I have been told that in cases like these, miracles do occur. Please keep the prayers and thoughts coming in.
Our poor gal so badly needs a positive break...........

george sr.

From Aunty Wendy

Dear Janet, George, GW, Aleta and Aunty Flo,

Aunty Wendy sends all her love, prayers, hugs and kisses. She is praying for the entire family everyday.

Love you all,
Aunty Wendy

Prayers for strength

Dear George, Aleta, GW and Janet's mom

I am so glad that Janet has such a wonderful support team as she goes through this ordeal. I will pray for each of you that you are given the strength, wisdom and serenity you need to cope with the challenges each of you will face. I will pray for Janet to find release from fear so that she may rest and become strong.

with all my love, Linda

Prayer

Unable to sleep, I called the Silent Unity prayer line.  It's open 24 hours a day/nite.   I was asked what Janet needed and I said 'a miracle'.  I was asked what kind of miracle and replied 'a miracle of healing' and described her situation.  We prayed together for Janet.  If anyone would like to call, the number is: 1-800-669-7729

PRAYER

We will pray for all of you. Love, Marta

Terrible News on Monday

My dear friends,

The news is dire.
The saturday and sunday emergency radiation was not working fast enough to shrink the tumors on her spine. They therefore quickly decided to rush her to emergency surgery first thing this morning to relieve the pressure on her spine. On Sunday evening when we were told the surgery was essential, janet and I were afraid. I made sure that all the doctors on her team were in agreement and that they all talked with each other about this case. The oncologist, the radiation specialist, the hosptitalist, and the neurosurgeon all agreed on this morning's surgery. But Janet and I were still afraid.

By midmorning on Monday the surgery seemd to be successful. As the afternoon wore on and she recovered from the anesthesia, she did not recover use of her legs. The neurosugeon was surprised and did not know for sure what could be causing the spine to not recover. He had some ideas, but he was not sure. They took her back for another MRI to check, with the notion that if something was overlooked, they would get her back into surgery. They did not find anything.

By 4 pm, I was at home trying to get some rest after having left the hospital with the positive news earlier in the day. Aleta had comer in at 11:30 am to give me support as I waned. I was with Janet all night prior to the surgery, and I must tell you that it was a very difficult and frightening night for her. I tried as best as I could to calm her and make sure she got the medications she needed. Nevertheless, it was the most stressful, difficult, and sad evening of either of our lives.

After the neurosurgeon called around 5 pm tonight, I reflected 5 minutes on what he said, and then called him back. I asked that a neurolgsit be consulted for a second opinion. This was done, and we got a fresh look at the case, but alas, there is no magical solution. The neurolgist and neurosurgeon both feel that we made the right decisions, but that ultimatetly the tumors had gotten to the spine too fast. We did act fast on this. The neurologist also said that the loss in janet's legs was not due to anything the neurosurgeon had done.

There is some faint hope, howver. Tonight Janet has a little sensation in her legs. There is a prospect that she may get some recovery, but the odds are low. She may lose what little sensation she has.

She is in shock and dazed, but she is realistic. She is being sedated and is in neurology intensive care and getting blood pressure and steroid medications which may help. Aleta has now been with janet for 10 hours and GW is going in to spend the night with her. I will go in the morning. She will not be alone in this time of sorrow and anxiety.

But at this point, we need divine help. The doctors can only do too much, and in this whole sad saga, it has been too little too late, despite their best efforts. At almost every juncture, things have gone for the worst. What has janet done to deserve such a fate? It is so unfair.

I am preparing to say a rosary before I try to rest tonight, and as per my uncle Arnold's suggestion, I shall read St. James, Chapter 5 verses 13-15 and reflect on that message.

Please pray for Janet.
george sr

Sunday brief but important update

Due to a dire and unexpected turn of events, Mom is having surgery tomorrow (Monday) to relieve pressure on her spinal cord. We consulted Mom's entire panoply of doctors and all agreed the surgery is necessary at this time. The radiation has not been sufficiently effective to this point, though radiation treatments will continue.

More information will follow, tomorrow - both on the outcome of the surgery and what it means for the overall plan of treatment. Dad is staying with mom at the hospital tonight (the family was all there this afternoon and evening). Please, don't call or visit... Mom and Dad need to grab all possible sleep between the nurses' checkups, medications, etc.

So, we will see what happens tomorrow. Thank you all for your thoughts and kind words.

Aleta

Dear Janet

I am so glad you are feeling better today and that treatment is proceeding. It must be a real comfort to have your mom with you. George is doing a great job of keeping us all informed of your progress. I am sure that everyone who is reading your blog is sending positive energy to you.

I enjoyed seeing the picture of you and your mom. Now I know where you get that lovely smile.

Lots of Love, Linda

A Less Stressful Day

Our dear friends,

Janet had a much better day today.

After being roused early, she was trundled off in an ambulance again to the radiation therapy clinic. This time it was fast and smooth, since they had all the calibrations set. She was on and off the table in short order. Back at the hospital they did some more CT's and then things quieted down. A surgeon came by and said that surgery to get at the spine tumors was very risky and invasive. It is best to let the radiation and steroidal drugs to control swelling do their job. The thoracic surgeon came by and said that it would be best to leave her right lung alone since most of the fluid had lactulated. Thus, there will be no drain or drain tube. Dr. Hwang, Janet's primary onoclogist, came by and had a very good conversation with her. He regreted not being able to stay longer yesterday after Janet's MRI test. They decided they could not delay the chemo treatment any longer. Chemo at a reduced dosage will start on Monday. This also made Janet happy, since anything to attack the cancer is a step in the right direction. Then she was left to rest. She is getting movement back in her legs and is starting to eat again.

Tomorrow, she will be left alone to rest and recover. No treatments, no scans, just rest (we hope!). Janet's mother and I visited Janet for a 45 minute visit to get caught up and bring her some things to personalize her room. She is starting to read now. It was difficult to focus and concentrate, with all the drug effects, the pain, and the discomfort. She was much more comfortable today, but a bit tired, so we did not stay as long as I would have liked to. Even I am beginning to learn not to overstay my visits. It's best to let her rest.

By the way, Janet's mother is an unsung heroine in all of this.
(The picture is from two weeks ago.) Through thick and thin, she has been at home to help in whatever way she can. She came down about 1 week after the crisis set it. Laundry, minor cooking, answering the phone, taking messages (saving Janet from answering), lending a friendly ear, and more. She even has experience with and helpful tips about some of the medications Janet was taking. Not bad for an eighty one year old. These little things have been very helpful and both Janet and I appreciate it.

good night all.
george sr.

A Seranade for You... :)

Hey "Quinn-Quinn"...

We missed you at the game last night, but I'm glad to know you're getting the care you so very much need. George called and let us know what was going on, and we sent you plenty of well-wishes - could you feel our positive vibes coming your way...?)

And it would seem we had twin procedures last week, as we both had MRIs done. I call it the 'solo rave' because of the crazy sounds the machine makes - hey, you've got to make the most out of the time you have to spend in that crazy contraption, right?

Well, you know I'm thinking of you, and I came across this funny link and absolulely HAD to share it with you. Promise me when you get home, you'll be sure to check it out. Let the soothing sounds of these five, fine science-minded gentlemen rock your world!! HAHAHA :) http://www.eppendorf.com/int/hawkpopup.php?contentid=13

Take care, Janet, and please know that I think of you often, and always with a smile. You know I keep my sense of humor and positivity about my situation, and I'm doing the exact same thing for you. I'll see you soon!!!

ps - if the link doesn't appear in the actual post, I'll add it in the comment section (I'm still trying to figure this whole blogging thing out!) Take care!

Stunning Developments on Friday

Hello friends and family,

Yes, things did reach crisis stage today. My earlier post had information that I had available from the time that I left her at 3 am on Friday morning in the emergency room. Events developed very quickly on Friday morning. We had been worried about fluid in the right lung and the fluid build up in her legs and abdomen. Yet there was a more serious problem lurking beneath all of this. An alert Kaiser physician at Holy Cross Hospital ordered some MRI tests since she suspected that the cancer had spread to Janet's spine. This was devastating news and Janet and Aleta who was with her clutched each other in this desperate moment.
Aleta called and GW and I rushed in and waited for the results.
Janet's chief oncologist, Dr. Hwang, called with the results. He had seen Janet go into the MRI machine, but he had to leave before the results were back. He stayed on top of the case. The results showed that, indeed, two or three tumors were pinching her nerves. This accounted for the fluid build up in her abdomen. It was all accumulating in her bladder, which was not functioning properly. Furthermore, her unsteadiness on her feet, which we attributed to the leg swelling, was in fact due to the tumor affecting the spinal chord. This was extemely serious and risked paralysis. Can you imagine how Janet the dancer felt when she heard this? Her Kaiser hospitalist Dr. Wilson and her thoracic surgeon Dr. Levin arrived shortly later with follow up news. Evidently the fluid in her right lung has loculated and thus does not pose an immediate critical threat.
She was set up for emergency radiation treatment of the spinal tumors. Within 2 hours, she was rushed by ambulance to a radiation treatment center one mile away where they began her treatment. I was with her during these dramatic moments. The treatment will be repeated over the course of 5-10 days. The odds are pretty good that the tumors will be knocked back and she will recover her capabilities. A steroidal drug will also be applied. Follow up surgery may be an option too.
The chemo plan will be revised, possibly with reduced dosages. The main course was supposed to start on Tuesday.
All through out this, Janet and I have sensed surprise in her physicians that, although she has been pummelled mercilously by these waves of attacks, she has remained resilient and resolute. At times hse has been in pain or weak, but she springs back. She is a remarkable person.
So when things finally quieted down at about 8 pm tonight when I left, after having made sure that she was administered the critical Tarceva pill, Janet seemed settled for the day. She was in good hands and was on a new treatment plan.
So the roller coaster ride races onward at a breathtaking pace. She wil be in the hospital for a while, but can rest better knowing that she will get good pain medication and plenty of oxygen to relieve her breathing. Let us hope she gets some rest. She is in a room by herself and it does seem more quiet and restful in the oncology ward.
She said that she felt relief that at last something definitive was being done to attack the cancer cells. Once again, you can see that, although handed dreadful news today, she settled on the sunny side. Remarkable. Let us follow her example.

So I will bring the cards and blog messages in to show her tomorrow. Please let her have no general visitors or phone calls as she recovers from this latest round.
george

Major Setback

Dear friends and family,

I am so very sad to report that Janet had a major setback on Thursday. Her legs had been swelling with excess fluids during the week, and despite our best efforts to control it, the accumulation went up into her abdomen. This caused her significant discomfort. Her shortness of breath and pain also increased. Yesterday Joan Chouili came over to check on Janet and we quickly agreed in the late afternoon to get her to Kaiser Kensington urgent care. After some preliminary evaluations, she was sent on to the emergency room at Holy Cross hospital. I finally left her at 3:00 am once it was determined that they would admit her to the hospital for further treatments starting on Friday morning. They will drain the abdomen with a thin needle on Friday morning. This will give her relief. More problematic is that her right lung has collected fluid and this must be dealt with too. Overall, her metabolism is out of balance. We are worried that because of this, the chemo may be delayed or started in the hospital. Both tracks have significant risk.
I will go to see her in early Friday afternoon and Aleta and GW will probably visit as well. I may ask for Joan or Robin to help too, but I think it is not appropriate for any other visitors. I will try to post an update later today.
God bless all of you who have supported Janet through these difficult times.
george

Janet's family - please contact me directly!

GW et al: I couldn't find any other way to contact you privately. I had an inspiration this morning about a mini-benefit that I could do for Janet. Please email me at dance@nimeera.com

Thanks!

- Nimeera

Good Morning Janet!!!

Janet, I finally found the invitation to post. I am truly AMAZED by your strength and determination. I have always affirmed that anything is possible, and here you are doing it. You are an inspiration!

Love,

- Nimeera

Salutation Correction

Dear Janet

Sorry I left the T off of your Tea message. That last posting was meant for you, Janet, and not for Jane. I don't even know a Jane.

Love, Linda

Tips for tea

Dear Jane

For an OTC tea I like Celestial Seasonings Honey Lemon Green Tea. The flavors of honey and lemon are both very muted and it is not decaffinated. For a theraputic drink:
One cup boiling water
Juice of half a lime
2 Tbsp fresh, grated ginger
1 tsp cayenne pepper
Pour boiling water over lime, ginger, pepper and let steep for 5 min. Strain and drink.

It is spicy but not too bad and it really thins the mucus sucretions and sooths a sore throat.
Be careful with any of the herbal blends that contain eucaliptus (I bet I didn't spell that right) because there can be drug interations and unpleasant side effects.

Love, Linda

Ups and Downs

Hello Supporters!

Wow, is it a rocky road to recovery! The hardest thing to learn is to be patient and thankful the crises seem to be getting more manageable. Having such a huge back-up contingent of you folks available to help is a real uplift. Some of the more frustrating aspects involve sitting back while watching other people sacrifice so much to do my work. Yes, how humbling to need you and have everyone come through so amazingly.

I haven't mentioned much yet concerning specific physical problems, but I rather that wait until I'm a little more at ease in presenting them humorously. They are still so daunting. Right now, swelling and water retention present difficulties, but it is anticipated that there will be weeks before switching to the more aggressive IV that usually results in much worse problems. Some of you are curious - I'm likely to have long hair for less than a month, maybe. I used to love it but long hair is so trivial in this perspective. I expect to experiment with a few short hair styles before going to wigs and scarves.

In fact, I'm thinking it might be sort of fun trying out new looks. Maybe I can post some possibilities. I bet a few of you have gone unrecognized in your own mundane look.

Finally - This isn't a trick question - I am searching for a recipe for a hot soothing tea drink which contains honey, but tastes nothing at all like honey or any kind of fruit, either. The benefits of teas, especially for those with compromised bronchial systems, have been so overwhelmingly touted that it looks like I will have to switch from being a contented coffee person into a *gulp* TEA PERSON.

A few of you have already sent some tea recipes to aid in general health and well being. So, please share!

Thanks again!

Janet

Janet - I'm not really sure that I can add much to the outpouring of support that you are already getting but it might help to know that there is at least one more person pulling for you. Keep your chin and spirit up; it is, after all, sometimes the best medicine. Best wishes for you and all of your family.

Jay

Tuesday update

Hello friends,

Janet rested today and is trying to get some strength for next week. It was a quiet day with no trips to clinics or doctors. She tried the oxygen last night in the hope that it would help her sleep peacefully. It did not. Although we had a water humidifier in the line, her throat was uncomfortable in the early morning hours. She feels she would be better off without continuous oxygen, so tonight she will try oxygen from a small portable cylinder only if she needs it.

I managed to get almost a full day of work in today. I want to thank my managers at NIST, Drs. Debra Kaiser and Robert Cook, for allowing me to take as much sick leave as necessary to care for Janet. Some days, I do not even make it into the lab. On other days it is just a couple of hours. It's often difficult to predict what will happen on any given day. I've also been trying to help keep one of Janet's dental research projects (edge chipping testing) going as an advisor while she is out. Each night I spend several hours transcribing notes from hospital,clinic, or doctor's office meetings for the day, sorting information, answering inquiries, and getting ready fr the next day. It's important to get all the physician's instructions recorded correctly and to keep track of the medications. I just finished reading a very good technical article sent to us by my long time friend Mark Manak. The article discussed technical-medical factors that cause coughing in lung cancer patients and possible treatments. Coughing is something that has been bothering Janet for some time, particularly at night when she is trying to sleep. I am sad to say that Janet is often tired or not feeling well so that she cannot search the web or investigate matters like this for herself. There is information on the web and all sorts of home remedies. Oh how I wish she could bring her own analytical skills as a scientist to help deal with her affliction.

I usally finish the day with this blog. You can tell from the time of my entry whether it was a good day or not. Anything after 12:30 am means it was a long day. The time enties area little off. Evidently the time log corresponds to when one starts to make an entry. As I finish this message, it actually is 12:05 am. I guess that I started it at 11:26 pm.

Today was relatively good. Janet and I had a gratifying moment when a colleague, Professor Dwayne Arola at the University of Maryland-Baltimore, sent us a copy of a technical article written by a leading authority on ceramic fracture that cited work by Janet and myself as an important contribution to the technical literature.

Goodnight all, and as always, please keep Janet in your thoughts and prayers. She derives comfort and strength knowing that you care.
george

Color You Perennial

Janet, was catching up on your blogs today-George Sr, you can certainly contribute to the book on "in sickness and in health" and how to do it right. Was thinking of your upcoming chemo... Wanted to find something to give you some strength as you move forward with the necessary, and what will come. I came across this poem today and thought of you, visualized you coming out the other side, in your Garden of Good Health, Victorious.



Call me recovered, yes I'm planting new Perennials - plants that spring back, recoup Year after year, peek out, grow back, reach up. Victorious over cold, frost, ice, snow. Grow green freed from the bleakest underground. Perennials - plants that come back, seek out Sun blessed empathy, connection, friendship. Clean out the chokeweed, the twisting snake vine. Make room for pink daisy faces and the Fragrance of sweet lilac. I'm back I'm back. And so are you and so we will be - come Next spring - April, May, June - in the garden. Planting hope with seeds of love - watering. Well, well, well, oh garden of my good health. By Alysa Cummings



Gerson and I think of you often, and we are praying too, hugs, hugs, gentle hugs, more hugs, never enough hugs.....



Thanks to G. W. for walking me through the tech highway of blogospheres....



Cindy

Dear Janet

I learned the Lord's Prayer as a child. I really didn't understand it, but when I was frightened I would say the prayer over and over and it would comfort me. I found this updated version a number of years ago and I think it is beautiful. I have studied the pray line by line and I think it is the most perfect affirmation ever created. Here is the modern prayer:

O Holy Friend,
which are alive in the soul of me,
precious and sacred is Thy Name.
May the abundance of Thy Kingdom
and the Truth of Thy will
be expressed in my outer affairs
-as they are revealed to me
at the summit of my soul.
And for the needs of my day,
Help me to know You have already given
to the capacity of my awareness.
Help me to forgive myself so that I may
then forgive those with whom I have
experienced pain and disharmony.
Help me to determine the difference between
temptation and inspiration
so that I may avoid error and make my life
a living testimony to Thy Love and Presence.
For Thine is the Kingdom of Good,
the Power of Truth,
and the Glory of Life that endures forever.
Amen

Love, Linda

News from Monday

Hello friends and family,
Wow, this blog is taking some interesting turns now.

For the record, Janet and I are both practicing Roman Catholics. Many of our friends have told us they are praying for Janet and this gives us great comfort. That being said, we also appreciate and respect positive sentiments and forms of expression from other directions too.

It was another interesting day. Each day has its own twist and turns, ups and downs. Life has really become a roller coaster for Janet and me. We are in it together though, for better or worse, just as we vowed when we got married 35 years ago.
So today we went to the Kaiser oncology center in Kaiser's Shady Grove facility and met Ron again. He is the nurse who will administer the chemo to Janet next Tuesday. This is a big step that we both look forward to yet dread. Janet is mentally prepared. Alas, her body is not so strong as we have learned over the last weeks. This past weekend, shortness of breath reared its ugly head. This evidently may not be a transient passing thing. So as a result of the crisis on Saturday evening, we were prescribed oxygen at home. We had hoped to get a small cylinder as a sort of backup when Janet needed it, but the more professional system that was prescribed does add some reassurance that she will not suffer needlessly. As I sit here late at night, I can hear the soft purr of the compressor-separator device that is collecting air and separating the oxygen from the nitrogen. Its steady rythm is calming, but I fear that if Janet should call out, I will not hear her. We have a backup high pressure gas bottle too.

She will cough a few times in the night, a result of the irritation in her broncial passage from the primary tumor. It ruins her sleep. We wish there were something that could calm this. The thoracic surgeon had no helpful advice. I have seen on the web that some prescriptions help, but we must be careful lest they case complicatins such as constipation. We were prescribed and tried Cheratussin (syrup with codeine), but it had limited effectiveness and may have contributed to her constipation flare up two weeks ago. I saw on the web that honey works for some people. I tried to talk Janet into trying some, but she says she hates it. Perhaps one of you might have some notions? Please let me know with a comment.

So for the rest of this week, she will rest and build her strength to face next week's challenges.
So for now, no visitors and please no phone calls unless urgent.
george

Aliya the Warrior Dancer Goddess

Today is the first installment of:

Aliya the Warrior Dancer Goddess

The village people had been subdued and joyless of late.  You see, the sun had not appeared in the sky for many months and moods had become bleak.  Children misbehaved, men scowled and women ate too much chocolate.   After yet another week of darkened, stormy skies a meeting of elders was called.  All had to attend, even scowling men and women with tummy aches.  Something had to be done.  

Many options were discussed this night.  Wolen had suggested building a huge fire that might reach to the heavens and disperse the moisture laden air.  Shale thought praying to the sun god might help if everyone also sacrificed their first borns for him.   Everyone grumbled. Sacrificing and praying to the sun god was so last millenia...   What if everyone turned on their Blackberries simultaneously and called Aliya the Warrior Goddess of Light?  Siles had heard of Aliya when he was very young and had never forgotten stories of the mighty goddess.

He knew only that she responded when she was truly needed and hundreds of calls made to her at one moment might just do the trick.  

It was decided that the next day all the villagers would call Aliya at half past 10 in the morning, begging for her assistance.   At ten in the morning the town plaza became thick with the village people pouring in from everywhere, mingling in the misty, dark morning air.  Siles began organizing everyone in groups of fifty or so.   The calls would be made from each group one second apart.  The hope was thåt  Aliya would be beckoned by desperate calls coming from the dark village.   At 10:30 the first group hit their speed dials (Aliya's number had already been programmed into everyone's phone).  At 10:30 and one second, the next group called and so on till seven hundred forty-nine villagers had placed their pleading calls and left messages for the goddess.

Little did they know that at that very moment, Aliya was in her laboratory experimenting with a ceramic compound to determine it's tensile strength.  She was wearing her goggles and her lab jacket with 'Janet' emblazoned on the lapel.  You see, Janet and Aliya were one.  Janet, also known as Dr. Quinn, made the world a better place as a fractal engineer.   No one knew quite what that meant but they knew she was helping the world become a better place.   Though passionate about her work as a scientist, Janet Quinn was equally passionate about her other calling.  She was Aliya, the Warrior Dancer Goddess of Light.  Wherever darkness lingered, Aliya could be called upon to bring light.  Off would come the lab coat, off went the goggles and the sensible shoes.  Aliya would emerge with a razzle dazzle of beads and coins, a colorful skirt and hip scarf, a gravity defying bra top and unleash her long blond hair ready to fight the good fight.    

As she bent over her laboratory counter, the calls began coming in.  Janet had never liked cell phones but at the urging of her family had begun carrying one.  Call after call came through hundreds in just a minute.  She was needed.  Desperately.   With only a little sigh, she threw off her lab coat and goggles, ditched her shoes and shot up into the air in her golden costume, her coins catching the light and shimmering as she flew and then landed in the dark village.  

The villagers were astounded.  They had never seen anything like Aliya, not even on cable TV.  

She began her dance, slow at first, beckoning the villagers to dance with her slowly, then faster and faster, with hips and arms and bellies all moving together.  The kinetic energy of hundreds of hips and arms and bellies moving as one with Aliya leading them created a single spark that ignited high in the air and suddenly,  sunlight poured into the village.   Aliya Warrior Dancer Goddess kept dancing with the villagers until the entire valley was bathed in golden light.  Then, just as quickly as she had arrived, off she sped, back to her laboratory to finish her experiment.  She was happy to be back at work with her fractals but found herself thinking about that hip scarf she had seen in Egypt.  The one with the perfect gold coins.  And then there was that chartreuse bra top.   It seemed a shopping trip just might be in order. 

Get better

I am sorry that I did not get to see you Sat. I am sure that there will be up and down days ahead . Keep on fighting and I will keep on praying that the Tarceva will work, and you will recover soon. Much love, Marta

Hello from Florida

Hi Janet - I hope things are going better for you now after your examination today. I'm glad you were able to visit with a few friends on Saturday afternoon, although it's unfortunate that you had another hospital emergency run. I've been out of town visiting my family in Florida for the holiday weekend, but I've been thinking of you and wish that I could have also been there on Saturday. If you are up to having visitors again this Saturday, I would like to see you for a short time. I've been reading the blog every day and I'm keeping up on your progress. George, you're doing a wonderful job with the blog, and all of Janet's friends really appreciate it. If you're planning another "open house" this weekend, please let us know. I'll be praying for all of you. Much love, Claudia

Status Report on Janet: A setback

Dear friends,
It is Sunday afternoon. I'm sorry that we could not post an entry on Saturday evening.
We did have a nice small open house on Saturday afternoon and Janet really appreciated seeing her friends who dropped by.
Unfortunately, she develped shortness of breath late in the afternoon. Earlier overnight, she had had a similar spell. This time it was worse, so we called the Kaiser advice hot line and were instructed to go to the Kennsington urgent care center which we did. After we were there for a while, it was decided to send her to the Holy Cross emergency room for a more thorough evaluation. She was transfered by ambulance and stabilized. The chest x-ray revealed a little more fluid on the right lung than from when she was released from the hospital on June 24th, but nothing dramatic. A CT revealed that there were no blood clots or embolisms. That was good news and it appears that the clot in her left lung that was detected several weeks ago may have disappeared. Doppler ultrasonic examination of her legs also revealed no clots. So Janet was eventually released but will be examined again on Monday. Her oxygen level in her blood is still low, so oxygen will be made available at home in case she needs it. We were told that this setback will not necessarily impede her chemotherapy treatments due to start in 9 days.
It was very nice to meet Dr. Pamela Zarick again at the Kaiser urgent care center in Kennsington. She was the physician who first detected that something was seriously wrong with Janet five weeks ago. Janet and I both appreciated Dr. Zarick's competence and compassion. She told us yesterday that she has been monitoring Janet's condition in the Kaiser information system every day since the calamity struck.
Thanks also to Naomi and her husband Ofer for bringing some special bed cushions to help Janet partially sit up in bed to alleviate her coughing at night.

So the roller coaster ride continues . ......
And as before, your prayers and kind throughts are very welcome.
george

WOW, I am blogging

Dear Janet

I am not sure how to bookmark the blog site so I can get into it directly. I still go to George's old email to access the link. But, as you see, I can now write to you on your blog. I'm not sure I like everyone else reading what I have to say and knowing I am so computer challenged.

I hope you enjoyed your visits. I am sorry I could not make it but I was thinking of you.

Todays meditation: you are in your perfect garden and the light of the Universe bathes you.

Love, Linda

Saturday visits

Good morning on Saturday at 9:15 am.
Janet is feeling well enough for short visits on Saturday, noon to 6 pm.
george

Saturday Afternoon Visitors are Welcome

Dear friends,

Janet rested well on Friday. She was tired or uncomfortable a few times, but she reassured me just now (7:30 pm Friday) that we will welcome visitors on Saturday afternoon between noon and 6 pm. We realize many of you are away for the long weekend, but if you are still in town and want to drop in, please come on by!
Don't worry about bringing stuff, just bring a smile and a little hug!
(Be gentle though, since her back and side hurt ....)

The Quinn residence is at
12721 War Admiral Way
Gaithersburg (Darnestown area, MD 20878
301 977 3691

It is the brick house at the intersection of Jones Lane and War Admiral Way.

You may call us on the telephone on Saturday after say 9:00 am: 301 977 3691

george

Good morning Janet

Dear Janet

Each day I read your blog and think positive thoughts for you and your family. The recent blog about the Relaxation Response was very interesting. I think I have a book by Dr. Benson in my library. I will look for it and send it to you if I find it. I am sure you are being deluged with good advise. Each new piece of information is just a tangible show of love. We are all wishing you well.

Love, Linda

Thurday night update by George

hello friends and family,

Janet is feeling a bit tired tonight, so she asked me to update the blog.

By the way, it's very nice that so many of you are contributing. If you're not sure how to do it, scan down a few entries below on July 1st where our son GW has posted a link {the words in grey: "invitation link" } that will help you sign on. It is a simple process: you just sign up with Google. Just type in your new password. As far as I know, they do not bother people with spam or junk messages.

Janet had coughing problems last night which impaired her ability to sleep. We are adjusting her position in bed and some medications to control this. Now that her medications have been rationalized from about 12 a few days ago down to about 5 or 6, we are better able to fine tune the dosages and frequencies. We are increasing her pain medications in particular. She has been reluctant to take as much as she could, but the doctors have repeatedly told her not to scrimp on them. Tonight I put my foot down on this and increased her dilaudid (hydromorphone).

The good news today was from her office visit to the thoracic surgeon. He had drained her lung and did the 4 pleuredeses in the hospital. He removed her chest tube 10 days ago on her next to last day in the hospital. Her surgery wound healed slowly because of the blood thinner, but it is OK now. Today he removed the stitches and reviewed a new chest x-ray that showed no fluid build up in that lung. We thank God for that small blessing. Our son G. W. took Janet to the doctor for this visit. Aleta and G. W. have been helping out in various ways and it's so nice that we are working as a team.
Today is the third day that Janet has taken her cancer attacking Tarceva. We have read that the first positive benefits may take 2 - 3 weeks, so we remain hopeful.

Carmel, thanks for the package and we appreciate the holy water. Let's hope it works. I shall pray it does.
Burak, the flowers arrived yesterday and cheered her up. That was a very fast delivery.
Glen, thanks again for the kinds words today.

Please stay tuned to this web blog about the prospective Saturday afternoon visits. If she had done it today, she would have been exhausted. Also, NO PHONE CALLS unless it is important. Each time the phone rings, there is a chance it is a physician with important information or lab results. Thus the phone ring often causes anxiety. Also, phone calls sometimes wake her up from a precious moment of sleep. I made only one call from work today, but it woke her up. I felt terrible about it afterwards. Thanks for your cooperation.

We'll have multiple postings on Friday and Saturday morning to give frequent updates on the possibility of Saturday visitations.
george

Hello from the IADR

Hello Janet,

I am much relieved to learn that the chemo has started.

Many here at the IADR (Toronto) are checking in with me and the other PRC folk to send their best wishes and love your way. The meeting is going well, and there is lots of good discussion. The posters are reasonably informative but nowhere as nice as the ones you put together.

Keep up the good work and get stronger every day!
Clif

Hello Janet

Janet,

Just got back from vacation and am glad to hear that you are feeling better and back at home. You and the family are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep on fighting.

Jeff

Hi Janet,
Speaking of dancing. I ran across this photo the other day and wasn't sure if you ever saw it. It is a favorite picture of mine. We had an interesting and fun day.
Colleen